"Why do not dare to forgive?"
We can all forgive, but must admit that NOT DARE to forgive. Why is that ? Actually, the reason is very simple, namely:
"I've been hurt and I never will forget the pain that is in me."
It is my experience. An event has made me a big fight with my older brother, and he spontaneously said:
"You were just troublemakers. Always troublesome family. There is no good you do for your family "
Who does not hurt to say so?
Surely there were not hurt, but not with me. What my brother said is painful to me, and began to emerge the seeds of hatred in me. Hatred that continues to grow without restraint, and for many years I did not talk to him.
One time, I received a call from my sister, and was told that my brother was in financial trouble. To pay the tuition fees alone can not, and his daughter could not be further threatened to school. He wanted to meet me and ask for help.
Hearing the story of my sister, my heart said:
"You're in trouble and needed my help. What am I going to help? No way. In the past you've hurt me, and forever I will let your life miserable. I will not help you"
Back to the conversation with my sister, I say: "Want to see me ? Okay, but then if I was to Semarang." Actually, my answer just lip service only, and my sister know that I do not want to see, and still hate my brother. Finally my sister said: "Well, let him wait for you. But do not you feel sorry for your nephew who will not go to school? I replied:" She is not my nephew. My niece just yours alone " Finally, instead of a long debate, sister hung up by saying " yes sure, then if you go to Semarang please inform. Your mama miss you too "
After a few months, I could finally get a vacation to Semarang. Heart feels happy because I can meet with mama. Okay. I've been in Semarang and met with the sister, her children, and of course my beloved mama.
In one afternoon, I was sitting on the porch with mom, my brother came. He greeted me "hey How are you. What time arrive ?" and I said "good. Just now". My brother go straight into the house and left me and mama on the terrace.
I-continued chatting with mama. Until my nephew comes from within and with a little joke he said, "you evil with your brother. He was in problem. Do not be so. Forgive him. Grandpa just always forgive you even if you often make him sad and angry. "
Boooom .. like a lightning! I was surprised with my nephew greeting. Moreover, his words reminiscent of the treatment of the deceased father to me. Papa was hard, and I often create problems that make Papa hassles to finish, but papa always forgive me and never show anger to me.
Listening to my niece, I feel like crying remember papa, and want also angry with nephew because his words. But I hold all of it, and stared. Seeing me staring, mama stroked my head and said: "Never mind, which then is gone. Now you have to meet the desires papa and mama. Papa also happy to see you now. For the problem brother of yours, it's up to you alone. He himself created problem. But, if you want to help, so please help school children only. Even if you do not like and do not acknowledge their nephew, but he still my grandchildren too. Help their school, and help them just as well by making me more happy. But if you do not want to help, I can not force. I will use my savingto help. "
The problem is not because I do not want to help, but because I still hate my brother. My hatred is very big, and this makes me be indifferent to him and give the impression that I am evil.
I am not evil. I just hate it! It is always said by my little heart, and it continues to oppress me, because always ringing word "you are evil".
I long pondered my nieces and convince myself that I am not evil. But until the holiday is over, still ringing word "you are evil".
Two months have passed since my vacation in Semarang, and I got a chance to go to Semarang again. Events that happened two months ago has begun to disappear from my memory, though still ringing word "you are evil". I returned to Semarang with one intention, I must prove that I am not evil.
How can I prove it?
How can I overcome my hatred for my brother?
--- Wait for the next story ---
We can all forgive, but must admit that NOT DARE to forgive. Why is that ? Actually, the reason is very simple, namely:
"I've been hurt and I never will forget the pain that is in me."
It is my experience. An event has made me a big fight with my older brother, and he spontaneously said:
"You were just troublemakers. Always troublesome family. There is no good you do for your family "
Who does not hurt to say so?
Surely there were not hurt, but not with me. What my brother said is painful to me, and began to emerge the seeds of hatred in me. Hatred that continues to grow without restraint, and for many years I did not talk to him.
One time, I received a call from my sister, and was told that my brother was in financial trouble. To pay the tuition fees alone can not, and his daughter could not be further threatened to school. He wanted to meet me and ask for help.
Hearing the story of my sister, my heart said:
"You're in trouble and needed my help. What am I going to help? No way. In the past you've hurt me, and forever I will let your life miserable. I will not help you"
Back to the conversation with my sister, I say: "Want to see me ? Okay, but then if I was to Semarang." Actually, my answer just lip service only, and my sister know that I do not want to see, and still hate my brother. Finally my sister said: "Well, let him wait for you. But do not you feel sorry for your nephew who will not go to school? I replied:" She is not my nephew. My niece just yours alone " Finally, instead of a long debate, sister hung up by saying " yes sure, then if you go to Semarang please inform. Your mama miss you too "
After a few months, I could finally get a vacation to Semarang. Heart feels happy because I can meet with mama. Okay. I've been in Semarang and met with the sister, her children, and of course my beloved mama.
In one afternoon, I was sitting on the porch with mom, my brother came. He greeted me "hey How are you. What time arrive ?" and I said "good. Just now". My brother go straight into the house and left me and mama on the terrace.
I-continued chatting with mama. Until my nephew comes from within and with a little joke he said, "you evil with your brother. He was in problem. Do not be so. Forgive him. Grandpa just always forgive you even if you often make him sad and angry. "
Boooom .. like a lightning! I was surprised with my nephew greeting. Moreover, his words reminiscent of the treatment of the deceased father to me. Papa was hard, and I often create problems that make Papa hassles to finish, but papa always forgive me and never show anger to me.
Listening to my niece, I feel like crying remember papa, and want also angry with nephew because his words. But I hold all of it, and stared. Seeing me staring, mama stroked my head and said: "Never mind, which then is gone. Now you have to meet the desires papa and mama. Papa also happy to see you now. For the problem brother of yours, it's up to you alone. He himself created problem. But, if you want to help, so please help school children only. Even if you do not like and do not acknowledge their nephew, but he still my grandchildren too. Help their school, and help them just as well by making me more happy. But if you do not want to help, I can not force. I will use my savingto help. "
The problem is not because I do not want to help, but because I still hate my brother. My hatred is very big, and this makes me be indifferent to him and give the impression that I am evil.
I am not evil. I just hate it! It is always said by my little heart, and it continues to oppress me, because always ringing word "you are evil".
I long pondered my nieces and convince myself that I am not evil. But until the holiday is over, still ringing word "you are evil".
Two months have passed since my vacation in Semarang, and I got a chance to go to Semarang again. Events that happened two months ago has begun to disappear from my memory, though still ringing word "you are evil". I returned to Semarang with one intention, I must prove that I am not evil.
How can I prove it?
How can I overcome my hatred for my brother?
--- Wait for the next story ---
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